Don’t.
Seriously. Don’t cheat.
That’s not me being a jerk, mind you, nor advocating that every single one of us stay 100% Paleo for the rest of our long, (extraordinarily!) healthy lives. That’s not even me trying to cover up the fact that I ate some (extraordinarily!) unhealthy food over the last four or five days of road tripping along the Californian coast.
I ate an ice cream sandwich from a famous parlor called Cream. I ate no less than three coconut macaroons from a special bakery in San Francisco’s Chinatown district. I ate a massive burrito at the West Hollywood Farmer’s Market, and a few days later I made a superb pizza with four great friends (which also might have involved an epic flour fight).
I also gained weight. The definition I pretend to see in the mirror softened and faded a bit as the sudden inclusion of grains, excess sugar, and all sorts of non-Paleo treats left me more bloated than I’ve been in recent memory.
You might be surprised, then, to hear me say that it was all worth it. Very worth it. You’ll have to hit the jump to find out why, but here’s a small teaser: I didn’t cheat.
RETHINKING THE CHEAT MEAL
I’m going to say something bold, here.
There are no cheats.
A cheat meal, in my mind, implies a kind of guilty victory: an escape from the confines of your boring, repressive diet back to the land of salty, sweet, and oh-so satisfying. We sometimes use a cheat meal to reward ourselves after a long period of diet ‘purity,’ and likewise we sometimes use a cheat meal as a way of patting ourselves on the back for some external accomplishment.
No matter the motive, though, one thing remains unchanged: guilt. We feel guilty. The majority of us finish a cheat meal with no small amount of regret, the sensational flavors already falling quiet next to the little voice shouting “You’ll be fat forever!” in our ears.
It’s messy business, frankly. And in the case of a road trip, it invites an entire week of misery no matter how you decide to play it. Eat the food and you’ll feel guilty. Abstain from those treats and you’ll be that person in the party, the one who refuses a slice of home-made bread in their never-ending pursuit of perfect health.
Don’t get me wrong. There is a time of place to pass on the unhealthy treats, and there is a reason you should avoid them. For every instance that you pass on a bowl of tortilla chips, however, you can probably think of one where you wish you had partook: a slice of home-made cake, perhaps, or a special treat from a bakery that you’ll probably never visit again.
I’ve made the decision, accordingly, to stop cheating. Call it a matter of semantics, if you like, but I think it’s a perspective worth considering the next time you find yourself on the receiving end of a romantic look from a red velvet cupcake.
Again: there are no cheats.
Why?
1. YOU’RE NOT ON A DIET.
A diet implies something short, transitory, and otherwise unpleasant: a series of dietary changes you make in order to get back in shape. At the end of this mythical diet, you can then return to the way you used to eat, which seems kind of silly when you remember that your old way of eating is arguably what put the pounds on in the first place.
I make the argument, accordingly, that Paleo/Primal is not a diet. It’s a lifestyle. It’s a series of changes you make with every intention of maintaining them for the rest of your strong, vibrant life, and not some fast-track to weight loss you abandon the minute you see results. Eating something we consider unhealthy, then, is little more than a blip on the radar, an occasional unhealthy dish in a life-long routine of healthy, nourishing meals.
2. YOU DON’T NEED TO ESCAPE.
Eggs and bacon. Coconut milk. Dark chocolate. Butter by the plenty, massive salads with a healthy coating of olive oil, and every imaginable combination of delicious, natural ingredients.
Call Paleo what you will, but “boring” isn’t a common (or apt!) description. You’ll find, after just two or three months of Paleo-style eating, that your appetite for treats is greatly diminished. That’s not too surprising, considering what you eat on a regular basis, and I’d call it a natural progression once you emphasize healthy, natural food over refined, processed carbohydrates.
Pizza? Pasta? Sure, they’re unhealthy for you. A Paleo eater, however, knows why they’re unhealthy, and is happy enough with what she eats normally to see those old favorites as exactly what they are: a treat worth the occasional indulgence, but not some easy avenue of escape from an otherwise oppressive way of eating.
THERE ARE NO CHEATS
Right, then. “So what do you call that burrito, Matt?” you might be asking.
Delicious, I might return. Before that, though, I’d call it just one thing: a choice.
It’s not a cheat. It’s a deliberate choice, on my part, to eat something that I know is not ideal for my body. It’s an understanding of what that massive flour tortilla could do to my stomach, and it’s a recognition that I probably won’t be nearly as pretty if I do this sort of thing on a daily basis.
But that’s okay. Again, it’s a choice.
And it’s one that I’ve decided to not feel guilty about.
Why?
THE POWER OF INTERMITTENT FASTING
For the last four or five days, I’ve eaten pretty poorly. Snacks by the handful, desserts by the dozen, and at least three or four grain-based meals that I haven’t eaten in almost a year.
Here’s the plot twist: that’s okay. That’s fine. I knew what I was doing, I knew what the consequences might be (hello, bloating!), but I also knew one more thing: with Intermittent Fasting, I can easily make up for it.
To balance out the excess in calories, I’ve adopted a new strategy for the next week: one meal a day. It’ll be a large one (close to 1500 calories), but I won’t obsess over the details or macronutrient composition. This’ll leave me, likewise, with over 20 hours daily of straight fasting, which should do wonders to restore my body to its pre-holiday definition.
It’s as simple as that.
If you eat more one day, eat less the next. If you eat a lot more for an entire week, as I did, eat less the next. That’s a pretty simple perspective, I bet, and a pretty freeing one too.
You don’t need to stress. You don’t need to kill yourself for hours in the gym each time you choose to eat something unhealthy. You don’t have to feel guilty, and you don’t have to call it a cheat.
Remember, instead, that it’s a choice you made, with full knowledge of both the good and bad that it brings.
The bad? An upset stomach, perhaps, or an even more severe reaction. Your individual tolerance of gluten (or excess sugar, for that matter) might make the occasional indulgence a painful, not-worth-it kind of experience, but I guess I’ve been lucky enough to experience only mild discomfort. If you find yourself in a similar spot, you’ll probably see the bad as I do: increased water retention, a sense of bloating and discomfort, and the knowledge that you might feel a little off the next day.
The good? A chance to relive some of the flavors of the way you used to eat, maybe, or just a chance to share a special meal with family or friends. The pizza I made (salami, yukon gold potatoes, and asiago cheese, in case you were wondering) was not ideal for my body, no, but the experience of making it — flour flying through the air, bottles of wine on the counter — was one that I’ll never forget.
To be clear, Intermittent Fasting isn’t a get-out-of-jail-free card, and nor is it an excuse to chew your way through the cookie section at your local grocery store. It is, however, a tool at your disposal to help compensate for the excess calories that result when we make the choice to eat something unhealthy.
Intermittent Fasting, likewise, is a reminder to treat homemade pizza as you should: a memory. An experience, in other words, that you can share with friends or family, and a meal that is better enjoyed without the accompanying guilt of calling it a ‘cheat.’
Stop cheating. Start choosing.
Strive to eat healthy and well at every opportunity, but be realistic, too, with your expectations. Even the most staunch Paleo supporters would find it hard to pass up on a one-of-a-kind dessert, so don’t beat yourself up for enjoying a cupcake the next time you’re at the original location of Sprinkles in Beverly Hills.
And remember: the journey to perfect health is going to last the rest of your life. That’s not an excuse to load up on pancakes every other day, but it is a reminder to keep your indulgences as exactly that: an indulgence that you enjoy fully, both body and mind, without needing to weigh yourself down with unnecessary guilt. Your body, provided it’s in relatively healthy condition, can handle the occasional splurge, and something as simple as skipping a meal the next day can keep you happy and healthy long after the indulgence.
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57 Comments »
I'm a writer, minimalist, and health dork with three goals in mind: to teach you how to lose weight, move more, and be happier by living a simple, natural life. It works. Like what you read here? Get 3NL delivered straight to your inbox!
I love this, Matt. Anyone who can convince me to eat an ice cream sandwich and burrito and still thrive physically is my hero.
I agree. When you think you’re cheating, you fall off the wagon hard and separate your mind from thinking your way of eating is a way of life. I recently cut way back on wheat and gluten after suspecting a food allergy and feel fabulous.
Do I freak out if I stuff a cupcake in my mouth once in awhile or drink a beer (preferably together)? No. It makes me happy and my body seems to barely notice. Especially when there are healthy and satisfying alternatives to most things you crave. And especially when you can indulge and then adjust accordingly.
People are too freaked out by food. I like your advice – eat more whole foods, eat smarter, fast once in awhile, relax, quit acting like a food asshole. I know you didn’t quite say that, but seriously, we become the most out of shape when we’re food assholes. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it!
xo
You rock, Susan.
And you’re absolutely right: food assholes benefit no one, especially themselves. It’s easy (especially for Paleo types!) to get a bit dogmatic about what we eat, but there’s no real value, I think, in adhering so strictly to a set of rules that you don’t allow yourself to bend them. I was pretty strict myself in the beginning, but I’ve slowly come to realize that being so dedicated to my diet is exactly what allows me to have the occasional indulgence.
The IF helps too.
I love the bit about “intermittent fasting.” The following piece from paraphrase of the bible might resonate (I think Christ was more a friendly anarchist than a rule-maker):
16-18″When you practice some appetite-denying discipline to better concentrate on God, don’t make a production out of it. It might turn you into a small-time celebrity but it won’t make you a saint. If you ‘go into training’ inwardly, act normal outwardly. Shampoo and comb your hair, brush your teeth, wash your face. God doesn’t require attention-getting devices. He won’t overlook what you are doing; he’ll reward you well.
Nomnomnomnom,
Mark
That’s an interesting passage, Mark. I’m not too familiar with the bible, but I can definitely agree with the message in that excerpt: shift the emphasis away from external rewards for those that come from within.
That’s how I understood it, at least. It’s a perspective that seems especially relevant as I spend so many hours each day in the fasted state.
Great article and just what I needed!
Glad I could help, Kelly!
GREAT post, up until about 4 years ago I was the QUEEN of “cheat days”, “cheat meals”, “cheat whatevers”… I, too, have learned that the road to good health is a lifelong journey and also about balance and freedom…this post is a great reminder for those of us living this way already and hopefully a HUGE ah-ha moment for those who haven’t yet made the transition. Intermittent Fasting, I believe, is a great balancing tool as well…
So glad you enjoyed your road trip…it sounds like an awesome time!
That’s exactly it, Andrea. Good health is a life-long pursuit, not some day-to-day routine, so there’s no need to get caught up in the small blips and bumps on the radar. Try and eat healthy as much as possible, but don’t beat yourself up next time you have a slice of pizza.
Great post! Exactly my philosophy. I have a hard time explaining that to family and friends as they watch me start this new lifestyle. “But what about biscuits? cornbread? etc etc?” (Can you tell I live in the South?) You said it much better than I could, next time they ask me, I will link them to this post. Hope you didn’t take my teasing on that photo too seriously… I am super jealous of that cookie ice cream sandwich!
Haha, no worries at all! It made me laugh since I knew this post was coming up and would explain everything quite nicely.
Glad to hear we share a similar philosophy, and glad to hear how jealous you are of that ice cream sandwich. 
“If you eat more one day, eat less the next.”
That’s good advice.
Personally, I’ve found that walking after the meal alleviates the crappy feeling I get from eating too much wheat and sugar. We got invited to lunch at a friend’s restaurant and he gave us desert (how can you refuse free desert?), and I felt terrible afterwards. But I walked about a half mile, which isn’t even all that much, and felt considerably better.
That’s a great point! Walking is a pretty effective way to aid digestion, I’ve discovered, and taking even a short walk after a meal (healthy or not) can make all the difference in how you feel. I might have felt a bit better this week if I’d done a bit more exercise post-burrito.
I don’t know about you, but when I ‘cheat’ I get ill and quickly regret it. I used to be the kind of person that could eat anything but now if I eat anything grain based I get a really bad stomach.
When I was in China last year I had to eat non-paleo quite a lot and it didn’t feel good. After a while I started getting tired spells again (buring sugar in stead fat) and I had stomach problems.
I think paleo / primal is a one way street to an extent, for me at least. It’s hard to go back because I’d have to make myself feel ill for who knows how long before my body became acclimatised to non-paleo eating.
And why would I do that? The only result would be a return to my problems (being tired all the time from being a sugar burner).
Fair enough, Neill! I don’t feel unwell enough post-pizza to pass on the occasional slice, but your situation sounds quite a bit different. If nothing else, though, avoiding the unhealthy stuff should leave you with pretty sterling health year-round.
What a great way to look at it!
I will say that with the Paleo/Primal way of life I hardly EVER get tempted enough to cheat. I eat AMAZING food and I look and feel AWESOME because of it! Especially when you talk about the uncomfortable side affects of the ‘cheat’ it just makes eating grains and sugar that much less appealing!
BUT I think this is a very healthy approach to dealing with life and it’s temptations (pizza!) and it’s exactly the attitude anyone should have for success in the long run. Great post!
Thanks, Ashley! I’m in the same boat: living Paleo never really makes me feel tempted to eat the bad stuff, but there are always occasions when denying myself something unhealthy would seem worse than eating the food in the first place.
Cheers, Matt. Well said! I don’t believe in cheating…and IF, used well, is a beautiful thing.
Completely agreed.
I usually confine my “cheats” to one meal a week, on a Sunday night, shared with a loved one (or many loved ones.) The structure works for me. As it is planned, it eliminates all obsessing and worrying about food for the rest of the week, and knowing I only have a small window of badness means I really think about what I eat. Why stuff myself with crap, when some good quality chocolate or a slice of really great cheesecake will be enough? Then when it’s over I can smile, think about how great it was, and get on with the rest of my week without guilt or too much of a negative impression.
That said, I had pizza last night for the first time in forever and put on a kilo and a half. Overnight. That’s some serious bloating!! Just goes to show what can happen when you skip the gluten and salt for months!
It is great to be able to fast today. I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned the choice aspect, and the mind frame of positivity and helping your body as opposed to harming it. I think a lot of people when they hear of skipping meals, think of anorexics who starve themselves for days as punishment for a small dietary indiscretion. I am glad there is another side to it, one that can be utilized effectively to create body harmony as opposed to hatred.
Glad to hear you had a wonderful time in San Francisco (my personal favourite city in the world – even though I wasn’t born there and don’t live there now it is home to me) and were able to share it with some great people. I think that’s the key, making room in your life (and diet) for some of those great, unforgettable, once-in-a-lifetime experiences. Cant wait to hear about your next travel adventures!
Incidentally, having never skipped more than one or two meals in a row myself, I would love to hear about how longer fasts go for you. That would be a great article if you are willing!
Your timing is impecable! I’m on holidays in Puerto Rico, and eating a lot of things non-Primal… LOL But you are right, it’s choices. I’ll skip some things that are not worth it, and truly enjoy others – like the two helping of malanga! You hit the nail on the head… the key is no guilt, which would poison the enjoyment of the “treat” you selected. I do see them as treats and in moderation, there’s no problem.
That sounds like an amazing holiday! Enjoy it, Marie, and do exactly what you described: enjoy the things worth enjoying, and don’t stress about the rest.
If you have been full primal/paleo for awhile, you can take meals like this in stride. Even grok stumbled upon a bee hive full of honey occasionally
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I’ve noticed the diving into a sugar fest doesn’t produce the same crash I used to experience. Better insulin sensitivity maybe? I don’t make any special adjustments when I eat the bad stuff.
Exactly, man. Once the body is healthy and strong, even a sandwich like the one I pictured above is just a minor blip in the road. I’ve noticed something similar, too, when it comes to ingesting a lot of sugar: I normally feel fine. Over-full, sometimes, but nothing a good walk won’t cure.
What I took from this awesome post was that it’s all about choice. It’s funny how as a society we have come to the point where we feel like Choice is taken away from us. “I’m fat because I have no time to eat healthy/workout.” “I have to work to pay my bills (and the payments on the X car/boat/house I had to have).” “I can’t take a vacation, because I’m just too busy.” “I can’t buy the healthy stuff, because my budget is tight (and pays for X, Y, and Z).” When in reality, it all boils down to the Choice we made to do . Even those silly lawsuits with people suing restaurants because they got burned by the coffee, or whatever. For some reason, we (and I’m obviously being collective, ambiguous, etc. here) feel that we have no responsibility over the actions that we take. When the reality is that the limits we feel are trapping us in our lives, are restraints of our own making.
Great post, Matt! I’m glad I found you – just starting down a lifestyle change and am enjoying what I find here. And looking at that creamy, cookie, deliciousness in the picture at top – I would have chosen that, too!
Thank you, Melissa! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
And glad I’m not the only one who took one look at the ice cream sandwich and knew it was love at first sight, haha!
You’re exactly right. There’s this strange sense of disconnection in modern times where people feel like they’re lacking control over some of the most basic things. For me, my biggest concern is time. I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard my family say “Oh, if only I had time for that,” when the answer is staring them straight in the face: make time. Choose to live life on your own terms, choose to sacrifice something in favor of something even better, and you’ll find the character of life changes quite dramatically after that.
Thanks for the great comment!
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Oy, I hardly feel like cheating anymore anyway. I feel great on the diet, but any amount of carbs to speak of and I have to take a Xanax or my heart beats like crazy for HOURS, until I start to worry about having a heart attack. Not much pleasure in that, I’m afraid.
Fair enough, Anna. This is all contingent on how your body handles the occasional indulgence, though some people are definitely luckier than others. Look on the bright side, though! You definitely won’t be dealing with the repercussions of an indulgence on a weekly basis.
Umm, you really have a knack for succinct and intelligible posts. Well said. I hope I can take this and practice it in my own ‘lifestyle’. But when I ‘choose’ to eat off paleo it always seems like a good idea at the time … but my whole body is upset with me later. But I never learn … *shakes head*
Thank you, Allie!
You might have to choose, then, to make your indulgences very worth it. Not an easy thing to do, I bet, but I’m a firm believer that people can convince themselves of anything. Just go easy on yourself and stay strong.
This *almost* makes me feel guilty for dropping all those food metaphors during your fast yesterday. Almost.
“Stop cheating. Start choosing.” — aaah, pay attention people! Same way with paying people to do your SEO vs. actually choosing how you engage people on your site. Seriously. Heh.
Laughed all the way through this post (massive salads!), if you must know.
I aim to please.
I totally agree. I used to feel guilty about grabbing a snickers and coke when I was starving between class. Now I just scarf it down but try not to make it a habit.
I eat primal/paleo 90% of the time so a random snickers, cheeseburger, or pizza is not going to give me instant diabetes. The bloat I feel afterward is enough to make me not want to do it again for awhile, as sweet as it is at the time.
I definitely don’t want to be “that guy”. So if it someones birthday, I have a piece of cake. Just make it a small one. The problem with most “cheat” meals, is that people go nuts and just eat way to much.
Exactly, Trey. Once the body is healthy and strong, the occasional indulgence won’t do much more than improve the quality of your life (and, y’know, cause some bloating). People do have a tendency to go nuts with it, unfortunately, but that’s a habit even more alarming than the tendency to eat bad food, haha.
Thanks for the comment!
This is a pretty good read. Though I have no clue what Paleo/Primal is, I have been on my own journey of losing weight and healthy eating. As I read along, I got happy because most of what you said (except the part about intermittent fasting) is EXACTLY what I have been saying to some others in the past few weeks.
I stopped looking at my eating habits as “going on a diet”, but changed my diet so that I am eating to fuel my body and eating for life. What most people call a cheat, I call a treat. I don’t do one every week, but when I do it’s usually on the weekends. But I see them as one time events and I move on.. guilt free. I actually plan for them, I know what I am doing, I know how they will affect me. If I am not willing to accept the results, then I rethink my choice.. or make a better one.
Kudos to you for your progress on your journey and thanks for sharing!
Hi, Tyisha!
If you’re curious at all about Paleo/Primal, I have a three-part guide on this site that you could check out. Here’s a link: http://www.threenewleaves.com/a-beginners-guide-to-the-primal-lifestyle-part-one/
It’s funny, as your thoughts on diet are eerily similar to mine. I’ve been ranting and railing against the use of “diet” as some short-term strategy when the only real way to make positive changes for your health, I think, are to commit to something more long-lasting. Kudos to you for advocating the same thing! Best of luck with your continued journey.
If I can ever be of help, please don’t hesitate to contact me!
Matt, my wife and I are doing the Alternate-Day Diet – it’s a very similar concept to what you’re talking about above.
Every other day, you drop your daily caloric intake down to about 500 calories (plus or minus; there’s some minor math involved). The other days, you eat what you like (with the sole provision that you don’t intentionally overeat).
We’ve been at it for a couple of weeks now and we seem to be doing okay.
I definitely agree with you – rather than thinking of treats as “cheating”, we need to think of them as choices. Choices don’t come with the guilt, and using that word helps us remember that most of the things in life are really just that – choices that we make.
Hey, Robert!
Y’know, I haven’t heard of that diet, but it sounds pretty remarkably similar to the Eat, Stop, Eat method of Intermittent Fasting. Have you ever looked into that? There’s no real need to, I guess, if the Alternate-Day diet is working its wonders, but you might find ESE worth trying once your body has further adapted to the caloric deficit. Kudos for giving it a shot! I’m so glad to hear about someone who isn’t afraid to go hungry for a change.
Great article, Matt! I’ve been coming by for a couple of weeks now and thought I’d finally get around to saying hello as well
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I’m not going to be eating foods like this for a long, long time, though I completely agree with your healthy attitude. The worst thing we can do is feel guilty about the foods we eat … otherwise it does become an unhealthy and vicious cycle. I often tell myself if I allow myself to be a victim of tempting foods, then I am. But if I recognize it’s a mutual relationship, then that’s a different matter. Don’t know if that makes complete sense!
Juliana
Thanks for saying hello, Juliana!
You raise a great point. Choosing to eat something unhealthy probably isn’t a great strategy if you’re just starting out, but it’s definitely something the body can handle once you’ve well-adapted to a Paleo style diet. You have the right attitude, in any case — there shouldn’t be any victims here. Just you, just food (good and bad), and whether you choose to eat it.
I have proof of the giant apple fritter you destroyed in Seattle back in January. Man, that was GOOD!
That whole trip was GOOD!
Great timing on this post.
I just went on a “road trip” from SF to Austin, where me and a bunch of coders spent three days hacking together a prototype website. We stopped at a lot of gas stations, ate a lot of fast food, and I felt pretty bad about it. But then when I got to Austin, I started IFing almost by accident – my body didn’t seem to want breakfast, and was happy with 1 or 2 meals a day. It felt great after 3 days of continuous snacking, and my body is back to normal.
I think the biggest reason that I don’t like to make non-primal choices is because I want to spread the idea of this eating lifestyle with other people, and if I make non-primal choices in front of them (particularly if it’s their first impression of me and the lifestyle), then that somewhat encourages the idea of the lifestyle being too restrictive (which it isn’t, as you noted – it’s just very different from what people often eat in social situations). So I prefer to only make non-primal choices around people that I know well, and that understand the reasoning behind them.
Great post!
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Great post, you are so right Paleo/Primal is a lifestyle change not a diet. I am going to try really hard not to use the word cheat, and start calling it a choice because you are right when I use the word “cheat” I feel so guilty in the end. The funny thing is the only “cheat” I have had recently is wine and the occasional beer. I think you have a great balanced approach to life and that is what I am trying to achieve in mine balance.
Exactly, Hannah. Balance is all that we need, and sometimes it’s as simple as subbing out some of that guilt for the knowledge that you made a choice.
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