Narcissism, thy name is still Matt!
It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?
I wish I could blame work. I wish I could blame the late-night emailing, PDF-crunching and general madness of the last few weeks, but that’d be glossing over a painful — but honest — point: a part of me hasn’t wanted to put up a new photo. A part of me has been avoiding it, frankly, for as long as it could.
Why?
Read on. This’ll be a rare detour from my usual self-effacing snark, but sit tight — there’s a happy ending at the far end of the ride.
The Longest Journey
A part of me knows that I’m not where I want to be.
I’ve admitted as much on here before, and likewise I’ve come to grips with the part of me that oh-so many people tend to share: perfectionism. This never-ending need to be in the absolute best physical shape of our lives, and this ceaseless desire to fit the mold formed by modern society’s skewed perception of beauty and health.
Personally speaking, I want abs.
And so I’ve been tip-toeing around the thought of another progress photo, especially when the last one — dating back to December of last year — positioned me closer than ever to this vainest of goals. I look back at that Christmas shot, now, and far too often find my eyes fixed on the smallest of details: every line, every contour, everything minute to the exclusion of everything else.
I do mean everything. I mean this:
That’s where I started in early April of 2010, the first of my 15-month journey into a Primal/Paleo lifestyle. I made great progress in a fairly short amount of time, but the greatest contrast came about twelve months in:
That’s the photo from December of last year. That’s the photo I’ve used as a standard for all subsequent shots, the same photo that has quietly discouraged me from posting another, and the same photo, now, that has finally given me the perspective I need.
This doubting? This dissatisfaction with my latest photos?
This is ridiculous.
Missing the Forest for the Trees
I am where I want to be.
I started this journey 15 months ago not for any strict health goal, nor for any desire to drown myself in the perfectionism that has kept step with me for most of my life.
I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to set the stage for an entire life of strong, vibrant living, and I wanted to prove to myself, I think, that health didn’t have to be hard — that the secrets to strength and longevity didn’t demand any bullshit complexity or misguided routines.
I did that. But I forgot it, I think, when I started counting every line on my stomach, when I let those long-term goals become overshadowed by my desire for a sweet set of abs.
There’s nothing wrong with having that goal, I’d argue. There is something wrong when the goal becomes your great big measure of success, when the human desire to tweak overcomes the real changes you should be celebrating: every pound lost since you first started, and the mental shift alone to live a happy, healthy life.
The progress between my first photo and this latest one, in other words. That’s where the real change occurred, I think, on and off the camera, and that contrast alone is what I should be most proud of.
This is who I am now.
I don’t have all of my abs yet. That’s okay. I have my health, the satisfaction with my progress, and the pleasing amount of muscle — and natural strength — I’ve packed on in the last few months alone.
Life is good. I can say that sincerely, with all the faith and conviction you might expect from someone who is still so grateful he stumbled upon this lifestyle in the first place. Paleo works. It works for a number of reasons, but I’d like to think it’s so successful for just two little factors:
1. It asks you to eat meat, fruits, and vegetables most of the time you sit down at the table.
2. It demands that you pay attention. It requires that you care about what you eat, and that you start thinking about your health for the first time in your life.
And what can I say? I’ve never been happier.
17 Comments
I'm a writer, minimalist, and health dork with three goals in mind: to teach you how to lose weight, move more, and be happier by living a simple, natural life. It works. Like what you read here? Get 3NL delivered straight to your inbox!
Pingback: My Primal Progress (With Pictures!) | Three New Leaves
Question Matt!
Do you still do bodyweight exercises? Or have you added weight?
Strictly bodyweight! I’m mastering the handstand right now before moving into handstand pushups.
aw, look at you, matt! way to go. keep up the great work, and beautiful new site, too!
Well…I know it only matters how you feel and what your perspective is of your body but I think your latest pic is your best…you look happy and healthy! Thanks for the great post and the reminder of what is really important…
Oh please, I can’t believe you would obsess about something so inconsequential as your abs. Everyone knows a nice ass is MUCH more important. Get on it. Ha ha ha, I kid, probably.
Seriously, though, you look better in the current pic. You were too skinny before – got a little nice bulk on you now. Good work, and try some meditation for that perfectionism if you haven’t already. Works for me! I am a total weirdo but I simply don’t care!
Pingback: When Diet and Exercise Aren’t Enough | Three New Leaves
Pingback: Interview with Modern Day Caveman Matt Madeiro
Pingback: The Best of Three New Leaves | Three New Leaves
Pingback: Living Lean: An Interview with John Nguyen (Part One) | Three New Leaves
Pingback: The Big 5: Simple Rules for Healthy Eating | Three New Leaves
Pingback: Go Paleo: A Practical Action Plan, Part 1 | Three New Leaves
great progress photos. It’s so hard to see others not just caring about what they eat, when it really is so easy. So the weight issues continue to kill the young at heart… my son just introduced me to Paleo last August. I lost weight so fast, and everything I ate was sooo good! Wish I would ahve known this when I was yo unger, but right now is what matters!
Hello, Well done for doing so so well!! I have an underactive thyroid, I have been on every diet known to man, exercised like a dog, and still only lost a few pounds only to instantly gain it again or just maintain even though I am upping my exercise and eating well. You have given me hope, I hope this time I have found what I need to help me. I went on a low carb diet before but that was awful, this however doesn’t say cut out all carbs. So wish me luck.
I was wondering if It would be possible to email your if I needed any help in this new lifestyle of mine. The energy that you say you have is what I crave, I haven’t had that energy since my thyroid stopped me in my tracks at 17 and a half, I’m now 29!!!
Again I want to say you look fab, and I’m so impressed that you sticked to it. I can’t believe you hardly did any exercise, lol I do more than that in a week!! and I only just maintain my fat status!
You’re welcome to email me!
As you’re just starting out, however, let me make a few recommendations.
I’d stick with this for diet: http://www.archevore.com/get-started/
And then I’d read Chris Kresser for information on your thyroid: http://chriskresser.com/thyroid
That should be a great place to start. I’m keen on low-carb diets in certain situations, but it sounds like you might benefit from a different approach: medium to high on Paleo-approved carbs like sweet potatoes, rice, and fruit, while keeping protein medium-high and your fat intake at low-medium. If low carb didn’t do anything for you, this might work better, and you’ll be providing your body plenty of nutrition either way you manage it.
Food for thought! Thank you for the kind words.
Sorry I didn’t explain, when I did the low carb I lost most weight but then I was told to introduce carb (i.e. bread etc) back into my diet, which of course made me put one weight with such rapidness. However just a week of eating bacon with fat on (that was scary for me!!) cooked in oil/butter and eating meat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, eating veg as carbs instead of bread, biscuits, cakes, I have lost two pounds, normally it takes me a month to lose 4!!!!
:D
I have fallen off the wagon a little over the past day or two, because I wasn’t sure what to eat, and today I succumbed to the call of KFC (I know do I wanna kick myself or what!!) But you know what, normally I eat eggs, and I have crippling back ache, I ate eggs every day (more than two a day) and no back ache, how does this thing work?!!!
I bought the kindle edition of primal in 21 days, and now am feeling a little better about what I can eat. Thanks for saying you will help me. Can you tell me how I can stop myself wanting a pepsi max, or an occasional biscuit or is this little bump accepted? Sorry for another long post but I’m so excited for the first time in years, not only that but some of the health problems I have had may even clear up with this lifestyle and then I can pass this knowledge on to my mum, as doctors can find nothing wrong with her but she is in constant pain!!
Sorry and thank you.
Pingback: The (Kinda Secret) Secret to Weight Loss Success | Three New Leaves