Stop me if you’ve heard this before.
When you were a kid, you had some pretty crazy ideas. You wanted to be an artist! A writer! An actress, or definitely an athlete, and then maybe you’d cure cancer. Life was great! Time passed. You got through school well enough, and might have gone on to college, kicking around some ideas of just what the heck you’d be doing with your life afterward. Those lofty goals of your childhood, now smothered through years of normal living, read like a laundry list of the (un)happily employed: accountant, engineer, salesperson, etc.
Time passed. You rocked college and, by your school’s recommendation, dove head-first into the workforce, accepting long hours and a mediocre paycheck so you could get your own slice of land and start settling in. Sure, the work makes you want to slam your face into your keyboard, but it’s a paycheck, right? You’re just paying your dues to society. Now you watch athletes, actors, and artists when you can steal a moment away from the spreadsheets, just wishing you had their talent, before sighing and returning to your desk for another five hours of staring at a monitor.
Sounds awesome. In all seriousness, though, some people love their jobs. I know a few, and I’m sure you can think of a handful yourself. But what about the rest of us? What about everyone living that kind of life out of some misguided belief that we should?
This probably isn’t what you wanted. You wanted to be an actor/artist/astronaut. You wanted to be remarkable. And guess what? I do too!
So what can we do?
I’ve got a couple of ideas.
Rethink Your Goals!
And by rethink, of course, I mean replace. Get new goals! Get a grand, glorious idea of what you want to do with your life, and be sure it’s just insane enough to actually be possible. Remember those childhood dreams you had? Did you ever wonder why they fizzled out long before you could actually pursue them? Someone gave you bad advice. Somebody told you that those dreams were too lofty, too crazy, too flat-out improbable – maybe your parents, maybe your teacher – and so you settled. You took that passion of yours and pushed it down deep.
We’re going to dig it up. We’re going to take that one secret goal of yours and dare to bring it to the forefront. Dare to make it real. Think about how you could pursue it, about how you could make it a reality, and make a list of what exactly you’d need to do. Sure, you might be coming late to the game, but there’s absolutely no reason why you can’t sit down right this instant and reevaluate your life.
Set brave new goals. Realize that the one big difference between you and that figure you idolize on the TV screen just comes down to timing – they were motivated early on to pursue their goals, while you might be coming a little late to the party. Don’t worry about it! The late arrival might even be better, as you’re coming in with the knowledge of what exactly you’ll be leaving behind in order to make your dream a reality.
You’re giving up a plain, normal life. Sounds nice, doesn’t it?
Get Selfish!
And do not let that get you down. If any word has been more maligned in recent memory, I’d like to hear it. Selfish describes everything our upbringing tells us not to be, but don’t let that faze you now. We’re well beyond the point of sharing candy bars at the playground, but the analogy comes in handy here. When was the last time you kept the candy bar for yourself?
Here’s the thing: if you’re going to change your life for the better, you can’t expect anyone else to snap their fingers and make it so. You control your life. You alone, and that’s an amazingly wonderful thing, right? Nobody else can make your every wish come true. Likewise, nobody else can stop you from pursuing your dreams, so what are you waiting on? Permission? You owe it to yourself to make your dreams come true and step outside a conventional life, don’t you?
Yep. Feel free to grant yourself permission now to do whatever the hell you want to do. You have the power to realign your goals in the pursuit of your happiness, and you have every right to do so without feeling guilty for taking time for yourself. And let’s be honest, here – you don’t have all the time in the world, right?
Get Moving!
Daring to live the life you want to lead isn’t easy. It might be the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but that’s just peachy – what other job in the world would be so worthy of your time and attention? Still, if the work ever starts to weigh you down, stop a moment to breathe. Realize – ignoring the religious debate – that you might only get one chance to make your mark on this world, and realize too that your time is the most precious thing you own.
With both of those thoughts in hand, what else do you need to get your butt moving? Frame it like this: at the end of your journey, when you’re waxing philosophy on the bed of your final rest, are you going to have any regrets? Are you going to think “man, I wish I’d told Matt just how handsome he is,” or are you going to think “man, telling Matt how handsome he is was a terrible idea”? That’s a silly example, but you get the point. Yeah, you have a long stretch of years before you, but that’s no excuse to sit around and just wait for the magic to happen. You’ve got to put your back into this, folks, and you’ve got to do it now.
Take Small Steps!
You want to paint? Start painting.
Zoom in on all those hours you spend watching TV, cleaning the house, or otherwise wasting your energy in the pursuit of brief entertainment. Sorry, folks, but you’re going to have to nix that CSI marathon. Don’t let that deter you! You’re giving up TV Land for a chance to hone your skills, to research your plan of action, and to start pouring your creative energy into the one true-blue thing that you absolutely want to do. That’s a pretty good feeling, I think, and well-worth the long nights on the couch you’ll be scrapping to pursue it.
Take it from a former video gamer. I used to sink countless hours with my face glued to the screen, and dropping that habit has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I still play the occasional game, sure, but my daily diary looks pretty different: I read, I write, and I socialize in the blogging world, dreaming about traveling all the while. That’s my goal, in a nutshell. I want to be a wandering, traveling blogger, living simply and minimally as I hop around the globe.
Bold? I’d like to think so. Realistic? No idea. Can’t say I care, either. I’m taking small steps to make it happen, and at the end of the day I can’t really ask for more. I want to be remarkable. I’m thinking you do too, so fingers crossed you’ll join me on this wild journey to the top.
What’s that one passion you shoved to the bottom of your mind? And – more importantly – what are you doing to make it a reality? Let me know!
11 Comments »
I'm a writer, minimalist, and health dork with three goals in mind: to teach you how to lose weight, move more, and be happier by living a simple, natural life. It works. Like what you read here? Get 3NL delivered straight to your inbox!
Matt, the funny thing is I’m reading this article while sitting in my small little cube wanting out like none other. Well, it’s not that funny, it’s depressing.
Every single thing you wrote here resonated with what I totally feel. Amazing! Let me share with you a little story:
When I was in high school and jr. high, I took every art class that was offered at my schools. From the fine arts of drawing, painting, sculpture, watercolor, to black and white classic photography, I wanted to be an artist so badly and go to art school for college. Guess what I ended up NOT doing? Going to art school.
Another field I wanted to explore was writing. From the time I learned how to type (age 6) and write (even younger than that), I’ve written countless stories, every single day for years. English was one of my favorite subjects in school and I read so many books, to this day, hungry for more and more. Come time to apply for college, I was influenced so much by my parents and relatives to go into the business field or something “reputable” like pharmacy, medicine, etc., that I listened since they must know better than me. I am only 17, what do I know? Since then, I have 3 business degrees but my artistic pursuits were the price I paid for it. For now.
I am now taking steps to branch out and become an independent artist, in freelance writing, or the like. I’m still at my corporate job, but I can at least say I’m slowly making progress. I’ve even written my first free e-book!
I can’t say that my life has sucked because of not pursuing my passions, after all, the business field has provided me a wealth of skills, knowledge, and experiences that has helped me become the woman I am today. And of course, I can transfer all that over to any field I pursue, since communication skills, networking, marketing, public speech, and business writing, are areas in which I can certainly bring with me. One day at a time. I will not let my dreams fade away into oblivion, never to be seen again. I can’t let that happen, and I won’t.
You only get one shot at life, might as well live according to your standards, not someone else’s. I’m finally learning this lesson.
So this is what you do at work, huh?
Just kidding! But I can’t say I blame you, Nina, especially with the reputation most desk jobs carry in the modern world. Kind of funny, isn’t it, how those three business degrees panned out? For all the education in the world, you still get stuck in a cube somewhere, forced to invest years of your life into the grind just to establish a name within the company. All the while, those base artistic impulses never leave, that little voice in the back of your head always whispering: “I can do more.”
I’m so glad to hear that you’ve decided to pull your dreams back up to the surface. I’m glad too that you’re coming into this with that business background, as you know exactly what you’re leaving whenever you make bold steps in the opposite direction. You know how much art means to you, you know what art means to you, and can take all kinds of comfort in being able to pursue it at long last.
No regrets, like you said. You may not have gone to art school, but it’s never too late to take control of your time, and those business skills will only make you stronger for the future. Keep it up!
Thanks for the encouragement, Matt! I’m going to do it. I’ve made up my mind and there’s no going back.
Besides, what do I have to go back to anyway? A life of unhappiness confined in a small working space that I have to sit at for hours at a time, not being productive whatsoever? Not very fun!!
And yes, this is what I do during work hours (whenever I can sneak it in, at least!). I get all my work done the first few hours and the rest of the time is just breezing by. Parkinson’s Law at full effect here. But what a waste of time! Time that could’ve been spent pursuing much more fulfilling endeavors. Which I’m working on … slowly, but surely, it’s gonna happen.
Great advice Matt! Especially the small steps thing. I am always amazed at people who say things like “I can’t draw.” Which is really stupid because EVERYONE can draw. They mean to say “I don’t try to draw because when I did, it didn’t turn out like Michelangelo so I got discouraged and now I don’t try anymore.” You just have to try, and if you want to be good at anything, it requires practice.
For me, it’s always the comfort of money. I hate it. I don’t have extravagant tastes. I live in a normal house, drive a normal car, I have pretty basic tastes. But even having a manageable amount of debt, is still debt!
I have big ideas that I am going to see through, It will just take some time to get to a comfortable place financially before I take the risks. Maybe my lottery dream will come true!
Mario! Holy crap, man, it’s good to see you! How’ve you been?
You raise a good point when it comes to finances. Ideally, yeah, we could all rush out right this instant and pursue our dreams, but the world doesn’t run on the strength of our ambition. Still, having your goals in mind when you choose to downsize (and eliminate that debt!) should make the process all that much easier in the long run.
It’ll make it a lot more satisfying, at least, when you destroy the last of that debt and realize just how open the road is before you. Best of luck with that. I’m sorry to hear that OU isn’t paying you what you’re worth!
Hi Matt
I have just discovered your blog, and I am really enjoying it – I will be back! I am slowly working towards ‘living remarkably’ myself – one step at a time, and sometimes it can be frustrating, but a friend once told me an old saying ‘constant dripping can hollow out a stone,’ which I keep in mind when I feel like I’m not getting anywhere. Posts like this remind me that it’s worth keeping on!
Hi, Rachel! Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
It’s always worth keeping on. One thing I didn’t really touch on (and I should have!) is that pursuing your dreams is a slow, steady progress, and one that can get pretty frustrating whenever other parts of life just seem to slow you down. Still, those are minor bumps on the road to success, so just keep on living remarkably and know that success will come in time.
Also: great blog! Poetry is something I’ve always been too shy to look into, so maybe your story will finally help me see the light.
Thanks for this.
Well, I also am planning to give up my job, resign on Monday, and go to Art School next year. I am 40+. Yes it does take courage.
I have a child at school, so am working 10 hrs pw. My job at a consultant pays well, fits in with my family life and I am a professional in the field. However, I only like it/tolerate it 50% of the time, much of the time I feel demoralised and almost always I feel that I am in the wrong profession.
The hard thing is that, if I quit, there are no other p-time jobs in this profession in the whole city, as it is specialist field, so basically it has big ramifications.
I have wanted to go to Art school for a long long time, so the “push” from feeling very uncomfortable in my chosen profession plus the “pull” from wanting to do more art is leading me to a decision..
I have been trying to do art this year, I go to a lifedrawing class weekly and am working on a large mural for my son’s school, but with the combination of my 10hr job, doing the accounts for my husband’s business, looking after my son plus all the housework/cooking/shopping means that it is very hard to find the time so wow it’ll be great to devote some real time.
I don’t have a plan for where it might lead.
Those are bold, steps, Jana.
I’m really glad to see you taking them!
I think your experience is really indicative of modern work: it pays the bills and allows you to live ‘comfortably,’ but it doesn’t provide the emotional satisfaction and creative outlets most people require. It’s a sad thing, really, that most people are stuck in this situation, too reliant on income to try and — or even be able to — make a change. I’m sure you going to art school, however, will be a fantastic example of what happens if you make the effort.
And it’s indicative too of the difficulties that come with it. At the risk of sounding like a hopeless optimist, I think the difficult situation you’re in might just reinforce what you’re doing. In other words, the fact that you’re leaving one of the few opportunities for your chosen profession to pursue something you love might make the transition even more worthwhile than it would be otherwise. Like you said, it won’t be easy, but I’m betting that the chance to pursue your art on your own terms will justify any hardships.
I wish you the best of luck, Jana. And don’t worry too much about not having a plan. You’re pursuing your goals, one way or the other, and I think everything else will fall in line from there.
Very inspiring post! I will make sure to make time in my day to do the things I love. Thank you for sharing.
My pleasure. And thank you!