Something funny happened to me the other day.
My family and I left the restaurant around seven, piled into the car, and started the long drive back to the house. We were all quiet, content with the meal we’d just had, and I — by reflex, I guess? — took the silence as an opportunity to dig out my iPhone. I checked Twitter. I skimmed the list of updates, eyes glued to the screen, and then — just seconds after we pulled into the driveway — yawned and stretched, glancing up.
The picture above stunned me. Streaked red and orange, lines of color that covered the entire horizon, the sky took my breath away in the same instant that it poked me hard in the back of my skull. I hadn’t noticed it. I’d had this incredible sky all around me for half an hour and not once had I bothered to look up.
I was on Twitter, after all.
This has to change.
And, after a few weeks’ deliberation, I’ve decided something: it ends now. It ends today, for me, and maybe it’ll end for you too. I’ve never been shy about my love for technology, but I’ve never hidden my love for life, either.
One of them is interfering with the other. I think you can guess which one it is.
MY LIFE NOW
I wake up in the morning, roll out of bed, and immediately reach for the iPhone/laptop. Feeling a twinge of excitement, I’ll load up my three separate email accounts and get ready to tackle each in turn. Sometimes I’ll have new email, so I’ll spend the next hour firing off responses. Sometimes I won’t, and my mood will dip just a bit before I’ve even really started my day.
But that’s okay! I keep checking my inboxes. This little voice in the back of my mind says “Oh, you haven’t checked in awhile. Go for it!” and so I take every free moment as an excuse to sneak over to my laptop. It’s even worse when I’m feeling bored, when I’m just digging around the Internet and clicking links aimlessly. Somehow, somewhere, I end up opening a new tab to check my email account. It happens so often that I don’t even realize I’m doing it anymore.
When I leave the house, the iPhone comes with me. When I have a free moment — even just a second or two — I dig out my phone and check Twitter, spending the next few minutes thumbing through the updates. When I’m stuck waiting in line somewhere, I’ll check my email again, feeling that familiar twinge of disappointment when nothing new awaits me.
When I sit down to write, I’m constantly battling distraction. I’ll have six tabs open in my web browser, each serving as a tiny reminder of other things I need to do or read. The never-ending beeps and alerts about new email or other new nonsense prevent me from ever devoting my full attention to my work.
During the evening, I pair my dinner with the dull glow of my laptop. I scroll while eating, checking any new links that pop up on Twitter, focusing on my food in spurts just long enough for the fork to reach my lips. An hour before I go to sleep, I shut down all electronics and read a regular book until I’m tired, but often feel tempted to sneak one more look at my inboxes before I try to fall asleep.
Technology has taken over my life.
To be fair, it hasn’t made my life any worse. I’d argue that my days have improved for the chance to constantly interact with the incredible people I’ve met on my social networks.
But I’m distracted. I’m multi-tasking every moment of the day, juggling my attention between two or three things at any given time. I’m ruining my ability to focus, to take each part of life as it comes and devote my full attention to it — to enjoy it with every part of me. I can’t eat without wanting to check my email. I can’t explore the world outside without bringing my connection along for every step of the way.
There’s something wrong with that. Really wrong.
And so I’m changing it.
MY LIFE FROM NOW ON
I’ll roll out of the bed each morning and leave my phone on the table. I’ll do three or four rounds of Sun Salutations and then sit down to meditate for as long as I want. I’ll eat my breakfast as leisurely as possible, focusing on the flavors of each bite, and take whatever minutes remain to check my inbox and rattle off a few brief replies.
When I’m out and about, now, I’ll keep the phone in my pocket. I’ll study my surroundings, locking eyes with the friendly faces all around me instead of the glowing screen of my phone. And when I’m in the car, driving or just riding, I’ll refuse to even look at the device. I’d rather devote my full attention to the conversation, if I can, or maybe just the blue sky overhead.
I’m going to keep the laptop closed when I don’t need it. I’ll use it for work, sure, but I’m going to radically rethink my idea of free time. I won’t reach for the laptop. I won’t spend hours bumming around the ‘net (after I check my email, of course!). I’m going to take a walk, instead, or read one of the many books I have waiting on my to-read list.
And when I write, I’m going to do it differently — I’m going to do just it. I’m going to disable the Internet, close my web browser, and refuse to do anything other than pour every creative impulse onto the page.
I’m going to change my life.
And isn’t that Three New Leaves is about in the first place?
WHY YOU SHOULD JOIN ME
This is drastic stuff. I can’t deny it, folks, and nor can I claim that it’ll help you as much as it’s already helping me. My own experiences with digital sabbaticals really drove home how tech-dependent I am, after all, and you might be on the opposite side of the spectrum.
Here’s the thing, though: I bet I’m not alone in this. Sure, you might not be as tech-obsessed as I am, but there are a number of things you might do without even realizing it:
- Do you ever hold conversations with people without ever looking at them (too busy texting, maybe)?
- Do you instinctively turn on the TV while you eat?
- Have you ever found yourself watching TV while playing with your laptop at the same time?
- Do you check your inbox multiple times within the span of thirty minutes — not out of obsession, but maybe just out of boredom?
- Do you find yourself juggling incoming messages, texts, and IMs all at the same time?
- Do you ever sit down in front of your laptop, determined to get some work done, and look up a few hours later with the feeling that you didn’t accomplish much at all?
The list goes on. But here’s the last question: did you say YES to any of the above?
You’re not alone.
TRY AND MAKE A CHANGE
Here’s my “plan of attack.” Yours might not look the same.
Email: I’ll check it twice a day. Once in the morning, if I have time for it, and once again in the evening. I’m doing this to try and break the mindless habit of eyeing my inbox, and I’m trying to stop letting new email — whether I have any or not — affect my mood.
It won’t be easy. But I’m also going to drop down and do twenty pushups every time I find myself checking without thinking, which should be just wacky enough to work.
Twitter: I won’t limit the number of times I check it, but how I check it. I took the Twitter app off my phone. I don’t think this is 100% necessary, sure, but it’s a good way to break the habit. And, honestly, what would you rather do: live life, or read someone else’s tweets about it?
iPhone: I’ve nixed the Twitter app, sure, but also my shortcuts to my inboxes. I did this about two weeks back and fretted about missing something important (or time-sensitive), but here’s some truth for you: emails are very rarely pressing. That’s not to say they’re not important, and that’s not to say you won’t ever get one that needs to be handled immediately — but the overwhelming majority can be handled in a designated email window without causing problems.
This won’t apply, honestly, if you’re the high-stressed business type. But if you are, I get the feeling you’re looking to change that, and rethinking whether you need to be constantly connected is a great way to start.
Writing: Internet disabled (blocked, actually, using the Mac app Concentrate), browser closed, nothing open on my screen save for my writing program of choice. I’m going to sit down, I’m going to write, and anyone who tries to stop me had better be very, very afraid.
TV: I don’t watch much in the first place. Next time I sit on the couch, though, I’m going to do just that: sit and watch. I won’t have my laptop open, I won’t have my phone in my hands. If there’s something on TV that is worth my time, then I’m going to give it my full attention for as long as it needs.
Life: I’m going to enjoy it. I’m going to savor each bite, fully devote myself to each conversation, and take a chance to admire my surroundings whenever I’m out and about. I’m removing the Internet as my go-to time-waster, now, and substituting a book, movie, or friend instead.
Notice the common trend?
I’m doing one thing at a time. I’m dropping out of a culture that favors multi-tasking and productivity, and I’m doing what I want to do instead.
I want to live free, unencumbered, and fully absorbed — fully alive — in every moment I get.
Join me.
Your individual changes will be different, I’ll bet, but the intention — the goal — is the same.
You want to bring the focus back to life. You don’t want to spend hours each day with your eyes locked on a computer screen. You want to remember what it feels like to be fully involved in the outside world again, without the crutch of technology to keep you happy or entertained.
Maybe you just want to have a true, proper meal with your family for a change: no TV, no phones, no distractions. Maybe you just want to remember how many beautiful things exist in the world around you — and maybe you realize how hard it is to see them when you have one eye on the sky and the other on your iPhone.
Maybe you just want to focus. Maybe you want to try giving your full attention to just one thing at a time — to every second of the day. You’re tired of juggling a thousand different thoughts and a thousand different browser tabs and a thousand different distractions — you want to do one thing at a time, and you want to do it as well as you can. You want to enjoy it, too.
You just want to be open to the life all around you. You want to close the laptop and share coffee with a friend. You want to keep the TV off when you come home from work and go throw a ball around with your kids. You want, more than anything else, to create memories — the kind that’s hard to make when you’re stuck on Facebook.
This world is a beautiful, crazy thing, and you don’t want to miss a single moment of it because you had your eyes locked instead on a little glowing screen.
Trust me on that one.
Join me. For the month of November, if nothing else, and maybe for every month after it too.
Leave a comment below with some ideas for how you’re going to make changes in your own life, and please spread the word as far as you can if you like this post. There’s a certain irony in using the Internet to spread a message about backing away from the Internet, but that doesn’t make it any less relevant in a world that lives and breathes on the speed of its broadband connection.
RELEVANT READING
And one last thing: go read Focus, Leo Babauta’s new book. I downloaded the free version on a whim and really enjoyed the ideas contained inside — particularly the emphasis on focusing on one thing at a time.
The idea to reduce my dependency on technology — and, subsequently, this post! — are a direct result of reading it. Thanks, Leo, for helping me focus on what matters.
–
Thanks so much for reading! If you like what’s going on around here, then why not have free updates sent directly to your inbox or to your RSS reader? I really appreciate it! And you can follow me on Twitter, too. That always makes me smile. 
75 Comments
I'm a writer, minimalist, and health dork with three goals in mind: to teach you how to lose weight, move more, and be happier by living a simple, natural life. It works. Like what you read here? Get 3NL delivered straight to your inbox!
It’s hard not to let our lives being taken over by electronics these days. I refuse to get an new phone with unlimited internet access and I leave my phone at home when I don’t want to be bothered by it. It’s gives a free feeling although it takes some time getting used to it.
When I’m at home I check email and twitter way to often. I’m trying to change it but it’s hard. I will get there eventualy. Started a 30day trail today where I can only check email and twitter after lunch. The morning is for focused work.
It started ok, but soon the urge got to big and I gave in. Tomorrow will be my next try.
I know the feeling, Vincent. I caught myself checking a few times today without even thinking about it. Sixty pushups later, I’m a little more willing to try harder tomorrow.
That’s an interesting idea, though. I’m very accustomed to bringing my phone with me wherever I go, but it’d be a worthwhile experiment to go without it for a few days. Scary, but worth it!
Thanks for the idea! And good luck tomorrow. Stick with it, man. I know you can do it.
THis is the thing I wonder about. I was looking at a ereader. Than thought maybe I should just get a laptop. But I might be able to get by with a Itouch or Ipad. Choices make things more difficult
Great post. I have a very similar addiction. All of my friends live in other cities which makes the tech addiction even more powerful. I sometimes feel like it is my only means of communication. I am at work all day on the computer, I come home, and sure enough I am on the computer yet again, or the phone, texting away, etc. I don’t know if I would consider my kindle part of the problem, after all its a book, and I only got it because my physical books were becoming clutter and I just wanted one versatile book. I think it would be very hard to unplug completely. But it is definitely worth considering. If I couldn’t spend near the time I spend online or texting then perhaps I would be so bored I would be forced to go out and meet new people or spend more time exercising. I don’t know how much or for how long I will be able to but I am willing to try. Thanks for the inspiration.
I think you’re on the right track. Giving up the gadgets is bold and wonderful, sure, but it’s just not realistic for some people — especially those with friends in faraway places! Like you and me.
Still, forcing yourself to stay off the computer for at least a few hours each day comes with some incredible benefits. I went for an hour-long walk today, for example, and spent time normally reserved for the Internet on activities like reading and cooking. Can’t argue with that!
I think you’ll discover something similar, especially when you already spend most of the day chained to your tech at work.
Give it a shot, Jen, and let me know how it works for you.
There’s no time like the present to take control of your life, right?
OOOH! I like the challenge of chilling out on the crackberry and internet craziness for a month – how experimental and manageable! I bought Hamlet’s Blackberry last month thinking I needed to find a way to break away some, so maybe I’ll put the technology away and actually READ A BOOK
I keep hearing about Hamlet’s Blackberry. Consider this another reminder for me to read the damn thing.
And hey! With my free time, now, I shouldn’t have any problem!
Haha. Stay strong, Andrea! Take back your life!
Yep, good points. I definitely know how it is to have a shit load of tabs open. I’ve been trying to get better at being aware of my internet use. I just told myself yesterday that when I’m out and about I want to start being more present in whatever I’m doing. Because I also pull the iphone out anytime I have a free moment and it seems like a weird unconscious habit I picked up.
The only time iphone email has been super beneficial is when my partner and I are trying to find places with vegetable oil (for our car) while we’re on the road…and the contact is an email only…but that’s a rare occasion that not many deal with lol.
Like you said, the point is to be more conscious of whats going on around you, not thinking about something outside of the present moment or stuck staring at a screen. Best of luck with this challenge. It’s great to find someone else going through the same
Yeah, the tab thing drives me nuts. I’ll open up six or seven at a time with every intention of “reading them later,” and then they’ll sit on the screen for a week before I ever get around to doing it. No more.
That’s exactly it: I want to be more present in whatever I’m doing, whether that’s with a laptop or not. I think it’s a goal everyone should try at least once, if only to discover just how dramatically different their day will seem once they’ve removed the Internet from the equation. Glad to hear you’ve been experimenting with the same, and extra glad to see how well it seems to have worked for you so far!
Your vegetable oil is a pretty phenomenal exception, by the way.
I think that’s one of the few occasions where I’d just straight-up applaud you for breaking out the phone on the road, haha!
I loved this and am with you on this, I find that If I simply just don’t turn on my laptop in the morning, my mornings are so much more productive . . . you’ve inspired me, thanks!
http://www.lifeasasketch.wordpress.com
Go for it, Stefan!
The extra productivity is wonderful.
Hurrah! Great to see I’m not sharing this bandwagon alone. I’m not sure what lead to “another” critical assessment of my life but I’m taking serious steps to downsize my online dependence. Only last week I set out my plan on – http://jjmellors.blogspot.com/2010/10/internet-and-how-im-going-to-wean.html And I’ve already been successful. Saturday was digital free! I had a brilliant day. Went for a run, read a book, carved a pumpkin and met up with friends. I can’t detach everyday but do plan to pull back. I went traveling a few years back and went to an Internet Cafe every few days. Probably spent 4 hours a week online. Now I can do “online” for 8 hours a day without thinking about it. Things have to change – and they will. Do we need a support group
You’re definitely not alone, Julie!
I’ve had a few people on Twitter say they were giving it a shot, so rest assured we have a support group slowly coming together on the Internet.
Which is kind of ironic, now that I think about it. Heh.
I know what you mean, though, about traveling. I rarely spend more than thirty minutes on a computer whenever I’m abroad, but then I step off the plane back into Texas and suddenly I’m glued to the damn thing. Your experience on Saturday is exactly why I’m trying to detach myself, though, and why I’ve enjoyed these last few days of being less computer-centric. My problem now is trying to find ways to fill all this free time!
Thanks for stopping by! Keep me updated on how your Internet-lite life is going.
Excellent, Matt, live life to the fullest! Times of disconnection are crucial for when we actually DO connect. And while you’re at it, throw your TV away, you don’t need it. Seriously.
Yes, I’m all for not checking your e-mail ten times a day or constantly be logged on to Facebook since most of the time you’re spending then is going to be you just sitting around, waiting for something new to happen.
However, I don’t see this hostility against multi-tasking or just make some necessary activities more interesting, such as reading while eating or surfing the web while watching something on TV. There seems to be a philosophy behind it saying that every activity you do deserves your full attention. I don’t agree with this.
For example, I use, as well as everybody else on this earth, quite some time on putting food inside me and expel it out of me. This I have to do to survive, however, I don’t automatically sense that I have to sit there and concentrate on it fully. I’m fully capable of filling me time with something meaningful at the same time, and I would encourage everybody not to waste a huge amount of time just sitting around and doing something completely trivial. Yes, I might get som hedonic please out of letting my tounge caress some dead animal within my mouth, but when I combine this with also feeding myself intelectually, it gets even better.
Same thing goes for when I’m working out. I usually go for quite long runs. During these, I either have my iPod with me and listens to Podcast or I think about something else that I need to go through in my head. Why would I insult my highly developed brain with the tedious task of only concentrating on putting one foot ahead of the other?
Same thing goes for TV Shows. Most TV Shows doesn’t require your full attention all the time. Or chatting with friends.
However, I wouldn’t multi-task during real interactions with other people, mostly because that’s seen as rude.
Hi, M!
To each their own, I guess.
I think it’s just a matter of intention. When I eat, for example, I really do want to focus on my food. I want to slow down the meal process, really ground myself in what I’m doing, and enjoy every bite (especially if it’s a dish I’ve made). Can I also handle the TV or a laptop at the same time? Sure! I’ve done it in the past, and I’ll probably do it in the future on occasion too. My intention, though, has changed: I want to start focusing on the parts of life that I take for granted (or tend to shove to the side and favor technology instead). I want to develop a new appreciation for something as simple as eating, and I want to be grateful for the food I have that so many other people don’t.
Again, can I do that with a laptop beside me? Sure. But it’s far more difficult, I think, when most of your attention is on the computer screen, and in this first month or so I think I’d rather do one thing at a time.
And maybe that’s the overall point here: just because we can juggle a laptop and dinner, doesn’t mean we should. I don’t think focusing just on food is a “huge waste of time,” and I think anyone who has sat down with a warm meal and (maybe) a friend to share it with would agree. Again, it comes back to intention — I don’t want to multi-task anymore, because I want to have full appreciation for the one thing I do at any given time.
So, sure, I guess I’m arguing that every activity (except for working out! I’ll agree there) deserves our full attention. Is that optimistic? Probably.
But I’ve lived with a laptop on my lap for the last five years, and I don’t think it offered me anything save for an increasing sense of being overburdened — a feeling that even when I’m watching TV, for example, I’m juggling several things at once. I don’t like it, honestly. But hey, if that’s something you enjoy, then more power to you!
Thanks for commenting, M!
Hi Matt,
As always, I am with you on this! I am online all day Mon – Fri for work, then often log on in the evenings and at weekends… As you know I have already had to slow down a bit, but now I am trying to limit my online time to a few hours at the weekend, maybe dipping in midweek if I have time – but not for longer than an hour. I do feel a bit disconnected from my online friends, but we’ll get used to it, and I now have more time to connect with people in ‘the real’ world’!
That’s a noble goal, Rachael.
Please keep me updated as you pursue it! The hard part, I think, will be finding a balance between the real and virtual worlds. But that’s the goal of this post, after all, and I think you’ll achieve it wonderfully.
Thanks for the inspiration. I can’t tell you how great it is to see so many people recognizing and trying to resist the power we have given technology in our lives. Sometimes I feel most disconnected from the truths in life when I am connected to the grid. Great article and love the comments. I too am struggling to step away from the madness.
My pleasure, anndar.
I know what you mean — and I definitely know that feeling. It’s a weird spot to be in, since I love technology with every part of my being, but my increased affection for tech has also helped me see just how dependent I am upon it. And it’s hard, like you said, to really feel connected with life when you’re firmly entrenched in the grid.
Thanks for stopping by!
Pingback: The Internet Lover’s Guide to Getting Things Done | Three New Leaves
Bravo, Matt! This is a courageous post and I appreciate your authenticity. I’m lucky because I do carve out time to meditate and relax every day. Eating and computers don’t mix in my mind. Still, I want to simplify further and I really appreciate your lead. I’d like to have one or two days a week of complete disconnect and put time limits around my social networking activity. So that’s where I’m headed! Thanks for the inspiration.
Thanks, Sandra!
I think that’s a worthy — let alone smart! — goal. You’re lucky, too, in that you’re already so far ahead of the norm. I still find myself reaching for a laptop whenever I’m eating alone, so it has taken concentrated effort to really start focusing on doing just one thing at a time. Something tells me, though, that a few days of disconnect wouldn’t faze you in the slightest.
Love this blog post. Love the honesty and I can relate to everything that you write, down to the last word, look, feeling and detail. Good on you for setting about to change your focus. Keep sharing. Love your work
Thanks, Francesca!
Although I hope you’re thinking of trying the monthly challenge if all of this relates to you, you know.
Good article. I recently had a month off from Facebook which was prompted by going to a baptism for a friends daughter. I took some photos of my daughter playing in the church grounds and had them uploaded to FB about thirty seconds later. When I can’t leave it alone in church that’s REALLY bad news. I just thought ‘That’s it, this is getting silly now’
So, that evening I disabled my FB account, removed the app from my phone and went cold turkey for a month. Apart from the odd desire to ‘nibble’ I didn’t really miss it. I am back on FB now and using it regularly again, not as bad as before but still a little too much if I am honest. I even had a discussion with my wife last night and she said she was feeling exactly the same and wanted to drop it to an appropriate level (her use and mine)
I think the key for me will be to remove the app from my phone again, its way too easy to get caught up when its in arms reach and I’ve been guilty of giving it too much attention even missing questions from my three year old daughter (which is definitely not on). I also check it whilst making breakfast for instance, simply out of habit and not need.
So, my FB reduction plan is as follows;
1. Remove app from phone.
2. Do some serious trimming of FB friends, literally to the point where its family, close friends (ie those I actually speak to outside of FB) and my riding buddies for when we are deciding where to go session on a particular day (BMX)
All non essential personnel are being dropped, I know where I can find them again if need be. My news feed will decrease massively as a result, especially if I leave all groups as well.
I have Twitter, but don’t use it half as much. That’s already been purged of all celebrities, sports stars and non essentials. I think its gonna get another once over to trim it further.
Email is next after that, all newsletters will be unsubscribed. I can’t think of one that I will honestly miss.
Thanks, Rich!
Your experience at the baptism sounds like a familiar one for me — minus, er, the actual baptism.
It’s such a strange thing to observe at public events: dozens of people with their eyes glued to their smart phones, each trying to capture the moment for the cloud. Standing on the outside, it’s hard not to wonder how many of them are really experiencing the event in the first place!
I’m not surprised you didn’t miss Facebook, heh. I’d argue that it doesn’t offer much in the way of actual value to people, and that seems to have been the case for you too. Removing the respective smart phone app is probably the best way to help disconnect, I think, since having the social network in your pocket makes it all too tempting to engage with.
I think your end goal is the right one: to eliminate the non-essential and focus on what matters in life. Whether on Facebook, Twitter, or just your inbox, trimming the excess and focusing instead on the few you actually care about is a great way to break your reliance on connectedness.
Let me know how it all goes for you! I’m impressed by all the steps you’re planning.
Update: I’ve disabled my Facebook account today and the app is gone from my phone for good. I started to trim my friends list and realised it was gonna take me forever, and if the truth be known, I couldn’t be faffed.
So, I came up with a new solution. I will be Facebook free Monday to Friday, and more than likely one weekend day as well. I’m thinking I’ll check in once over the weekend to see what’s happening and that will be about it. I think that step alone will cut my online time by about 60%.
I’ve unsubscribed to all newsletters that have come in thus far, and my Twitter ‘follow’ count is down to 29, from 100+
And, as a a random aside. I de-cluttered my work bag this evening and got rid of a load of crap I was carrying around on a daily basis. Lost some files and made it physically lighter. That felt gooooood!!!!
That sounds fantastic, Rich!
Kudos for taking those bold steps in the first place. I think your experience with decluttering the work bag is rather telling — it just feels amazing to travel light, doesn’t it? The same concept applies to our digital lives, as you’ve discovered, and reducing your contact with Facebook and Twitter will provide a similar satisfaction.
I’m always amazed at just how much more free time we have whenever we drastically cut back on the social media. The number of hours in the day doesn’t change, but time really does seem to slow down when you’re not glued to a computer, doesn’t it?
Keep kicking ass, man!
The more I delve into minimalism, the more I find posts like this, about becoming aware of the grip that technology has on us. I live in a very rural area and don’t have easy access to internet service, so I don’t have the internet at home. Sometimes it’s a drag, but mostly I think it’s good for me, because otherwise I’d be online too much and not getting things done that are important (like paying attention to the sunset!
)
Thanks so much for your honesty. Posts like this are what make blog reading worth the time.
Laurie in Michigan
That’s an interesting situation to be in!
It might be a case of the grass being greener on the other side, but I’d honestly think not having the Internet at home would be kind of marvelous.
You don’t have steady access to the network, sure, but I think it would free up so much time for more enjoyable pursuits. After all, if you can’t check Facebook, why not just read a book or two?
Hmm. This might warrant a new post.
Thanks for the inspiration!
(And I can’t find “Once” anywhere near me! I want to watch it after reading about it on your blog. Thanks for the recommendation!)
in jan 09 i deleted my fb and twitter accounts… and never looked back.
cutting back didn’t work for me; i am the type who has to go cold turkey.
i have never once peeked in to see what is happening on either site and my life has continued somehow…o except for the extra hours of free time i have gained each week. not to mention a general calmness.
people told me i was crazy and that it would be bad for business.
it hasn’t affected my business at all actually. in fact i have more time to focus on my business in ways that really count.
now i just have to have a long hard look at the time i waste on forums!
That’s incredible, Patti. Nice.
I think your experience is telling in so many ways. We just don’t need to be connected all the time. We just don’t need to rely on social media as a way of living or expanding our business. You’re living proof of that, and that’s a pretty admirable thing.
Also a nice wake-up call for me, since I’ve been debating whether to nix my Facebook account. I can’t say I’d gain that many hours back if I did, however, since I ignore it nearly 24/7 as is.
Thanks for coming by! And keep being a rockstar.
Pingback: My Favorite Posts of 2010 | Shawn Mihalik — Writer, Adventurer
I really enjoyed spending time with you in person…and I’m so glad that my other awesome people found this for me.
However…I would not have found you if not for Twitter…delicately balancing, eh?
It’s definitely a balance.
That said, the Austin tweetup worked out pretty well without us needing to be on Twitter 24/7, so maybe there isn’t such a huge need to balance in the first place.
In any case, it was a great pleasure meeting you too! And the massage, of course, was legendary.
Pingback: Close the Laptop (How I Changed My Life) | Three New Leaves
Pingback: Fat Head » Interview On Three New Leaves (and a DVD giveaway)
Heya. What a great read, really. And yes, I agree, you are not alone in this. I am an information junkie. Google and I are best buds … well, frankly I want to be best buds with Google … but it is sort of a co-dependent relationship, XD. Well, that and other forms of technology, while I already leave my phone at home when I go out and try to take meals as well, just meals, I still think I spend too much time on my laptop as lovely as Gwendelyn is (yes, I named my laptop) I know I should spend less time on her. It is no longer November, but I’m in. (And side note, even though you’ve mentioned spending less time on the laptop in general, this is a good website to adjust the screen brightness as not to negatively affect you circadian rhythm, well … at least lessen the affect … http://stereopsis.com/flux/). Cheers!
Best of luck with your separation, Allie. I know Gwendelyn will miss you.
I know you’ll miss her too, to start, but the feeling will pass in time. Stick with it!
Thanks for the link to Flux! I’ve been using it myself for the last few months, so trust me when I say that it’s an absolutely amazing piece of work. I can actually read on my laptop at night without going blind! Haha.
I partially disagree with the premise of this post. I mean, it’s great if you feel that you were spending too much time using your iPhone or whatever, and regretted that you were missing out on things such as a beautiful sunset.
I would argue that this is a highly subjective topic. Maybe you feel that you’re living a fuller life by turning off the TV and going for a walk instead (etc). But other people place value in other things.
Really, I think this comes down to addictions. Think about it… someone may be addicted to writing to where they feel bad that they’re missing out on things you gave up so you had more time to write. See what I mean?
If any one of us gets into lazy habits and we wish we had more time for X,Y,Z but we don’t do them because of A,B,C… then we should reevaluate our lifestyles and decide if A,B,C are that important, and how to find more time for X,Y,Z. It could be that we wish we could do X,Y,Z more but just can’t, and that’s important too because we all need to understand that time is the great limiter and we can’t do it all.
I know I’m rambling a bit, so I’ll just summarize my main objection.
You took a great point but personalized it and then projected that to everyone, as if TV was bad for everyone, and less time on the iPhone is better for everyone, etc. But perhaps that’s not true. Maybe someone’s job requires them to work 12 hours per day, and the iPhone frees them from the office so they can at least do their work in the presence of family. It frees them to go out to eat with their family, and catch up on work on the drive home. Either way they’re going to miss out on that sunset, but at least the iPhone helps them connect with their family better. (And no… not every job that requires 12 hour days is bad. Think President of the USA… CEO of the company you work for… doctor/dentist always on-call… IT worker that has to fix the broken server when it breaks, not when it’s convinient… and sure you can quit, but at the end of the day somebody has to do those jobs.)
Hey Jon!
I appreciate the in-depth response.
It might not seem like it, actually, but I think we’re coming at this from a very similar POV.
Technology, at the end of the day, is a tool. How you use it depends heavily on what role it plays in your own life, whether you’re a former Twitter addict like myself or any one of the great examples you provided. The point of this post, accordingly, is to encourage two things:
1) Awareness of how you use it (mainly in regards to social media).
2) Recognition of whether or not you’re using it in an unhealthy way.
“Unhealthy,” of course, is highly subjective, but I think we can imagine a common theme: when you fixate on social media (or mindless entertainment) over your real life. As per your example, I’m not encouraging the person who has to work 12 hours a day to stay longer at the office so that they don’t have to work on their phone. If they need the iPhone to do work (and free up time for their family), then by all means that is what they should do — but if they then spend their time checking Twitter or watching mindless TV instead of being with their family, wouldn’t you agree that they could be spending their time differently?
At the end of the day, in any case, it’s a subjective affair. What I’m hoping the post conveys (and maybe it doesn’t do it as well I thought, haha!) is that technology isn’t inherently bad — it’s how you use it. And how you use it, again, varies widely from person to person, so it’s up to that person to determine what best suits their needs.
I hope this clears things up a bit. Feel free to let me know if it doesn’t!
(And don’t worry! I’m not anti-job or anything, so I don’t think you’ll find any content here that says a 12-hour job is bad.)
Matt,
I just stumbled across your site today, love it! I’ve been reading many of your posts, and they’re truly great! I agree with so much that you have going on! I am at the very beginning of a similar path. The Paleo eating habits are fantastic, not just for losing weight but all over feeling better internally. In addition traveling, has always been something I longed for, but wasn’t getting enough of, so I’ve stopped waiting for the opportunities to travel, and have started making it part of my life regardless, you can’t wait for it!!
Anyway, this post about cutting off electronics, was one of my favorites. You couldn’t be more correct, so much wasted time. I am a victim of this, and am working to remedy it myself. Television was a big one for me, so instead of channel surfing to see what is on, I DVR only the shows I love (2-3 shows a week) and I only watch them after they’re recorded so I can skip commercials. Otherwise I leave the tv off, avoiding that slump of falling victim to the trance of infomercials and lame sitcoms.
Keep up the good work!
Your new follower – Jeanna
I battle this same problem. Before I’m even out of bed, I’m checking Facebook and other social networking sites to which I belong. I have a love/hate relationship with my iPhone and laptop. I call this issue “eDrain” and am working to combat it as well! It is eating up far to much of my precious time!!!
GREAT post!
Thanks, Colleen! eDrain is a common problem, I suspect, so kudos to you for deciding to challenge it.
I came today because of the inclusion of this post on the 50 posts listed on Living More with Less. Glad to be here. Of course, I have some thoughts to share, particularly after reading the comments and responses.
. For worship, I have several sites I use which I like, including my regular Bible and Book of Common Prayer in real format 
.
.
For vocational and fiduciary work, I need internet access minimally for education and some communication. For avocational “work,” aka dog rescue/sanctuary, I use it for promoting my adoptable dogs and for responding to rescue/training/educational requests and blog reading
All of this can be and has been done at our local gorgeous library or at a local coffee shop. I currently have internet at home but always weigh the need as it often takes me away from LIFE – I surf something terrible but don’t keep multiple tabs open. It is a CONVENIENCE. Gave up TV several years ago; if I want to watch shows, I download from Netflix or iTunes – get what I want and miss the commercials; I no longer spend “mindless” time on TV.
I do try once a week to shut it down for my Sabbath which is Sat. evening sundown to Sunday evening sundown (I am Christian and like this example from my Jewish friends). I moved myself from AT&T iPhone to Net10/Tracfone and Google Voice: I have a severe speech impediment which makes getting transcribed phone calls and being able to respond to them in same format AWESOME; plus, the cost is nothing for GV and minimal for my phones. Still use my iPhone for apps, etc. but, like you, need to avoid looking at it in the morning for email via home wireless – I have a wonderful app for Zen meditation and alarm which I use a lot. I LOVE when I “forget” to take a phone with me. I am old enough to remember when that was no option at all – somehow, we survived. I do limit myself on FB, don’t tweet at all.
However, one reason I keep my home ‘net is I cannot swallow – anything. So, while many of you are able to savor and enjoy a meal, I cannot and it is not fun unless I am praying, to simply sit and dump fluid down my tube. I add smelly stuff to my tube feeding (have a stomach tube for 9 years and rest of life) so I can enjoy something but it is mostly when I am eating I am online. My daily goal is to stop using internet when I am done eating. Simple? HA – a goal
Thanks for this entry – I, too, notice really good bloggers telling us all the time to get off the net; when we are off, like you, we will see the sunsets and then have something to blog about.
Thanks for the great comment, Roberta!
Given the feeding tube, I’m not so sure you need to stress about not using the Internet. That’s definitely a circumstance where (and I’m making an assumption, so please correct me if I’m wrong) a lot of the enjoyment of the process has been removed, so it makes sense to have something else to do during that time. It’s up to personal values, of course, but I don’t think you’re doing a bad thing by surfing the ‘net at the same time.
Great last line, too. So very true.
Love this article, and particularly this idea: “But I’m also going to drop down and do twenty pushups every time I find myself checking without thinking, which should be just wacky enough to work.” I’m quite sure I can’t do a single pushup, but maybe I’ll find a substitute productive “punishment.” (grin)
What you’ve described IS “evolved” society as described in Fahrenheit 451, isn’t it?
Janet
http://www.CuriositiesByDickens.com
I’ll get back to you once I’ve reread that book.
It’s been years! Which saddens me, come to think of it, since I enjoyed it so much.
Glad you liked the post! Thanks, Janet.
Great post. I live alone, and work from home (WordPress developer/copywriter), so much of my day is spent on the computer and online. I noticed recently tat I was in the habit of getting up and going straight to my computer in the morning – ugh.
Now, I get up and make sure I spend 30-60 minutes ‘puttering’ before I sit down to work – I may read a few chapters of a book, tidy the apartment, whatever. When the weather is nicer, I’ll get back into my habit of sitting outside for an hour, reading or journaling (no laptop allowed!)
Other things I’ve done to feel less ‘wired’ – I have a very minimal cell phone plan, and leave the phone at home unless I know I need it. Also, I don’t give my cell number to many people… instead, I’ll forward my VOiP line to my cell if need be. Though I will eventually need (?) to be Tweeting etc for my business, I’m going to schedule Tweets for the week and only check in once or twice a week with TweetDeck or HootSuite.
Every day, I make homecooked meals for myself, and shop for them, and enjoy the time it takes to cook and eat. On weekends, I do not go online. Period. I don’t check email, nothing. Weekends are unwired. That has helped more than anything!
And this may sound strange, but I’ve made a point of building good relationships with the people in my neighbourhood (I live in a large urban centre). In the nice weather our little part of downtown gets together for bbq’s, or just hanging out outside and chatting. When I head out to buy cat food, or rent a movie, or get a coffee, I chat with the people who work there. Seems a small thing, but building relationships with the people immediately around you (not just with your circle of friends) keeps you feeling more connected to the actual world, as opposed to just with the digital world.
That’s awesome, Tracy. For someone in a position that relies heavily on the digital world, you’ve taken a number of great steps to balance your screen time with exposure to the world outside. Given that I’m still trying to manage the divide, that’s pretty damn inspirational — especially the part about building a social circle with your neighbors, since I think the feeling of a local community has diminished pretty dramatically in the last decade.
The Internet lets us connect to anyone in the world, sure, but usually at the expense of those people right outside our door. Kudos to you for taking the time to build connections with locals.
Pingback: Recent Inspiration « byJoeLodge
Awesome post Matt… again! You have now inspired me to close my laptop. I also own a MAC and will be purchasing the iPhone 5 when it comes out this Summer. I open TweetDeck 10 times or so DAILY. I check my facebook 10 times or so DAILY. I actually only check my e-mail once or not even once. But, this is NOT good as I have about 84 messages in my inbox that need to be sorted through… lol
I check my blog comments way too much. I will continue to respond to each one but will instead reply to them all ONCE per day or ONCE every OTHER day. I will declutter my life and give many of my clothing items to goodwill.
I have tons of books. Many have been read and won’t be touched again. Why not give these to Goodwill or do a giveaway for them on my blog?
Technology is taking up my life but that time is now done. I ain’t going back. I am going to move forward. I will still take advantage of it in many ways. I will get my iPhone but I will refuse to check my twitter and facebook every hour. Instead I will us the GPS when I need it, take videos, take photos of my food at restaurants, etc.
I am closing my laptop. Are you?
Hi!
My first time here, and ironically, this is the topic that has been on my mind endlessly this weekend. I was on the verge of getting an iphone. Currently I have an el-cheapo phone that only lets me check email, take calls, and text – and I have it on purpose. Once upon a time my phone overtook my life. But lately I’ve been getting more and more sucked into technology again, and I realize I am checking email almost addictively! I need my phone for my work as a birth doula (a woman in labor must be able to reach me no matter where I am) but other than that – there is no need for me to be peering into my screen when I’m in line (I used to make friends or at least have interesting conversations with strangers in line), or when I’m on a drive or out with friends or clients!
Thank you for this – the timing of my stumbling upon it could not have been more perfect! I’ll definitely be reading more, especially as I’ve also recently gone paleo
Create an amazing day for yourself!
Laura
hey nice one – i have been feeling the same thing -;- i love nature -;- and it feeds my soul but not while i get distracted with my computer ….so thanks for admitting your truth -;-
Pingback: New Beginnings At Kilometer Zero « Bohemian Musings
Pingback: The Free Ultimate Minimalist Resource Guide (and a fond farewell.) | Minimalist Adventures
Pingback: 30 Hours, 20,000 Words: A Guide to Getting Things Done
Pingback: On Wasting Time | Freeing Truth
Pingback: Four Straight Nights of Four Hours of Sleep | Three New Leaves
Pingback: Welcome to the New(!) Three New Leaves | Three New Leaves
Geez, that’s uneiblevbale. Kudos and such.
Ah, Matt, I think I’m a little in love with you already! Found you from over at Mark’s Daily Apple, and then I stumbled across this post – which is EXACTLY what I’ve been working on this past month. Somehow starting with primal living made me aware of how much REAL LIFE I’m missing when I get stuck in technology (which I love, make no mistake, but there’s got to be a balance.) We’re gonna start a revolution!
Pingback: last hour {report-back} & first hour {insights} | Pippa's Porch
Update…its been a while! I tried to update under my original post but it wasn’t having it…?
Anyway, I’m pleased to report I am completely Facebook free and have been for about 8 months. Do I miss it? Hell no! Its an absolute non event for me now and even my Twitter is minimal (still)
I still want to minimise even more in all areas of my life, but I’m pretty stoked I’ve kicked FB’s butt.
I’m late on this, but wanted to say what a great idea and a great post. Going to try it, starting today. (I stopped reading the post midway to go do some sun salutations.)
Pingback: Weekend Link Love [on a Tuesday...] – 09.13.2011 | Say Yes to Salad
Pingback: Step Away From the Screen | Three New Leaves
Pingback: The Best of Three New Leaves | Three New Leaves
It sure would be nice for me to close my laptop but then that would be a bit drastic considering it is my life. not kidding. With no friends –introvert/loner alert– and no hobby at hand that is all I do.
I honestly have no idea where my phone is but I’m sure to find it before Monday since it is my alarm. TV is boring and I’m thinking of selling my tv since it’s been in my room for months serving as a board to hang up posters, lol. I love reading your stuff. Continue w/ your awesomeness man
Pingback: Little Leaf: Forget Your Phone | Three New Leaves
Pingback: Spend the Night: A Screen-Free Challenge | Three New Leaves
Pingback: Excess Emancipation
Pingback: Friday Favourites – Digital Sabbatical | Wild Sophia
Pingback: Everything I Know About Technology | Three New Leaves