“Am I actually hungry?”
I know what you’re thinking: “Duh, Matt. That’s why I’m eating, see?” Why, if you’re staring down at a steaming plate of goat cheese and zucchini pasta, would you ever stop to check the state of your stomach?
Inherent silliness aside, I think it’s a question worth asking. I’d even call it The Great Big Point of this article, a gentle enquiry about one of the most basic — and yet, when our brains get involved, complex — human needs. Let’s call it an opportunity, too, to impact a serious change on the way you eat, with consequences that carry all the way down to where it counts: the inches you can poke and prod around your waist.
My Favorite Russian
We all have that friend, don’t we? You know the one. The slim and trim companion (jerk) who can eat practically anything without gaining so much a pound, downing entire bags of macadamia nuts as a casual dessert. A great friend of mine back in California epitomizes this special power, a realization which never ceased to impress me whenever he sat down to do his damage at the dinner table.
I’m not gifted with the man’s metabolism, sad to say. I am gifted with an intense love for food, however, a factor which contributed in full to the extra pounds I carried all throughout college. And while I’d love to chalk up my progress since then to some supernatural quality of the Paleo diet, I have to give partial credit to where it’s due: a new approach to food that comes back to one simple question.
Whenever I find myself reaching for food, now, I always stop, breathe for a second, and ask the one question I previously never thought to ask.
“Am I actually hungry right now?”
I’ve done this for a few months, now, and come to an interesting conclusion.
I never need to snack. I never need fruit between meals or a few squares of chocolate after dinner. My meals are sized appropriately enough to keep me full for hours at a time, meaning any other food I decide to chow down on doesn’t normally have an appetite to match it.
Whenever I reach for a handful of nuts or piece of fruit, the blame comes down to three:
1. I’m bored. I come home from work, step through the kitchen, and see a jar of almonds on the counter, nabbing a handful from the jar in a kind of mindless routine.
2. I’m stressed. The latest crisis at the office has me reaching for sweet mints — something to chew on while I think, and a pleasant enough flavor to give me some small happiness while I do.
3. I’m daydreaming. About food, yes, and bags of macadamia nuts in particular, my mind swirling with happy thoughts about how delicious they taste.
The point?
Hunger, it turns out, is rarely a prerequisite for snacking.
The Emotions of Eating
That’s the nature of eating, like it or not. It’s a complicated need, arguably one of the most complex we ever deal with, and always with influences that reach far beyond just what’s on your plate. In the interest of treating the subject properly, I’ll just say this: I’m by no means an expert in how the mind and stomach interact, and I’d hate to misrepresent something that so many people struggle with on a daily basis.
In the interest of simplicity, though, I’d like to ask just one thing: be aware of this. Realize, now, how your eating habits are very much in the pocket of how you feel, and start paying attention to your mental state whenever you start rummaging through the cabinet for a late-night snack.
You might find, as I did, that snacking has nothing to do with your stomach. You might realize that dark chocolate is tempting because it’s chocolate, and then take steps to stop, breathe, and seriously ask whether you’re hungry enough to dive in on half a bar every night after dinner.
As a self-proclaimed foodie, I know this isn’t some easy switch. So many things I eat offer pleasure beyond the norm, and the satisfaction I derive from a special — or comforting — dish alone can often put me at the top of my game. It’s not much of a stretch to call this a kind of disadvantage, however, when you consider just how much I enjoy eating — and subsequently how I rarely want to stop.
Again: be aware. Give your dietary routine a little more thought than usual, and try and make changes if you realize that the adage of “eat when you’re hungry, don’t when you’re not” applies far less often than you like.
One Simple Question (With Great Results!)
I’ve since cut way down on mindless snacking. That’s not an easy thing to do, sure, but you might be surprised at how a simple question can make all the difference in what — and when — you eat.
If nothing else, don’t be afraid to apply a little more scrutiny to your meals. If you’re still full from dinner and later find yourself seated in a restaurant with friends, what do you do? Eat? If so, why? Peer pressure is always a factor, sure, but not the lone force that makes you pick up a menu and order food you don’t need.
I’m not advocating, of course, that you become that person at the table. I’m suggesting, instead, that we all practice mindfulness about what’s on our plate, understanding the myriad emotions that feed into it and then making several small changes from there.
And the best part? You don’t have to do anything complicated. Try these on for size:
1. Skip a meal. If you’re not hungry, don’t feel obligated to eat. I’m as familiar with the whole “well, it’s dinner time, so I guess I should just eat a little something” as anyone, so trust me when I say that there is absolutely no reason to eat out of dedication to social traditions.
2. Push away from the table. If you feel absolutely stuffed, why would you then try and clean your plate? Take the food home! And don’t feel guilty for doing it.
3. Go to the bathroom. This is a trick I use whenever I’m working on the massive portions you find at restaurants. Halfway through the meal, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom for a few minutes. I might not need to go, sure, but there’s another perk: halting my food intake for five minutes helps my mind catch up with my body and fire the signals I need to know that I’ve had enough food.
4. Cut back on snacks. Get out of the kitchen, if you need to, but just be aware of why you’re munching throughout the day. An after-dinner snack is a common routine, but I’d say that’s all the more reason to take another look at it.
The other best part? All of this can be achieved by asking a single, simple question.
“Am I actually hungry?”
Ask it before every meal, now, and don’t be too surprised when you realize that the body needs far less food than we normally give it.
13 Comments
I'm a writer, minimalist, and health dork with three goals in mind: to teach you how to lose weight, move more, and be happier by living a simple, natural life. It works. Like what you read here? Get 3NL delivered straight to your inbox!
It’s so funny you mention this because I NEVER feel hungry. I’m one of those people who has to force themselves to eat because hunger just rarely shows up. Forcing yourself to eat is a drag. I’d gladly trade those of you who experience hunger!
I find that if I eat ‘real’ food (meat, veggies, dairy, fruit, and, yes, the odd piece of homemade bread), I find this question easier to answer. I know that I’m legitimately hungry; if I’ve eaten junk food I “feel” hungry even though I’m not, and it’s harder to talk myself out of eating more. You can’t beat real food.
Hey Matt,
I’ll try that go to bathroom mid-meal tip. That’s actually really useful!
I have another tip: When you eat out, ask the waiter to box half of the meal before they bring it out.
Cheers.
I completely agree here. This one question is amazing for me. And knowing that I don’t have to eat to get my DD to eat is an amazing thought. I was raised eatign when others eat and when hungry or emotionally eating. So to know that I don’t have to eat just because someone else is is such an amazing realization!
Excellent article and suggestions Matt! I enjoy your blog
This was my favourite thing I learned from you this summer. Very helpful, Matt.
Good advice for anyone who reads it.
I am one of those people who definitely knows when I’m hungry and I too have put this concept into practice and really have to be diligent with it because I am also one who never feels “full”…I’ve trained my brain to know the difference between real hunger/empty and oh I’m not stuffed to the gills there must be more room in there to eat!!!! This is a very freeing concept when you can master it…eat when you are hungry and don’t eat when you are not…I also love having the balance to eat that square of chocolate just because I want to, not because I think I need to (or on the other end of the spectrum “shouldn’t).
Great post, as usual!
Great post, Sir Madeiro. And you’ll be happy to know that our favorite Russian [male] is actually asking his sister to help him only eat handfuls of cashews or macadamias at a time. Also – as I am on a bit of a health intensive for the next six months, with diet and with the new yoga business – I have been modifying recipes to balance Paleo, Raw, low-GI, and gluten-free. Talk about NUTS.
Happy to pass some along if you like. Miss you!
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can i substitute the snacking with tea drinking?
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